Lessons learned

Like most things in life and about life, adoption is a journey and not a destination. I've learned a lot through our adoption process... we have learned about parenting a child who comes from a "hard place" and parenting a child of a different ethnicity. We have learned about orphan care, types of adoptions, and a tiny bit about the vast expanse of Chinese history.

The things I didn't really expect to learn are, however, the most important.

I have learned to surround myself with supportive and caring people. We need a strong foundation to be a strong family.

I have learned what it feels like to be the racial minority and what a comfort it is to "blend in". We will make every effort to spend time with a diverse group of friends for Ava so that she does not always stand out.

I have learned that I must be strong, out spoken, and compassionate. Ava is different. She was born with a giant congenital melanocytic nevus. She is Asian. She will encounter teasing at some point, but she will never face it alone. Her family must be her rock. We will not tolerate teasing, bullying, or racism. We will protect her, build her up, and make her strong for a cruel intolerant world.

This morning on the way to a haircut, my favorite radio show began ragging on China. "There is not one good thing in China. Why would anyone want to go there?," they said.

In a way they are right. There is not ONE good thing in China. There are BILLIONS of good things in China. Currently, Ava is my favorite thing in China. If it weren't for Ava, I would not know much about China. I would not have fallen in love with so many orphans who desperately need families and medical care. If it weren't Ava, I would not know that most of the children are abandoned because their families cannot afford their medical care. Imagine that.... feeling like your only option to save your child is to leave your child? I love that China allows Americans to adopt their precious children. America is not always so kind in return.

So remember that when you are complaining that your TV or your cell phone was *gasp* Made in China, that my Ava was also made in China. You don't have to like their political system. You don't have to like their food or their languages. But you can love their people.  They need jobs just like the rest of us. They need to support their families, buy food, and pay for medical care. Only, they survive on much a less a day than we do.

I have learned that I cannot care what some of you think. I cannot listen to the naysayers. There will always be someone who criticizes adoption. "I could never love a child who isn't mine." I cannot listen to those who ask, "Ugh, why adopt from CHINA?" I will pity those who sneer at adopting a child with special needs. "People need to stop bringing rejects from other countries into America." I will guard my heart from those who stare at Ava's nevus.

I will never stop learning and growing and doing what I feel is right for my family.