My biggest challenge since returning home was finding the time to rest. My exhaustion left me with a nasty cold and very little energy. A long afternoon nap gave my immune system the boost it needed, and I feel so much better. Sometimes, a person just needs to be still.
Ava still has fitful nights where she rocks and flails in her sleep. For the first several nights home, I had made up a "bed" for her on the floor so that she couldn't hurt herself.
We finally decided to bring her toddler bed into our room to see how she would do. She gladly crawled onto the mattress but rocked incessantly and wildly. I sat watching from the floor trying to decide if I should intervene or let her soothe herself a little longer. So I prayed. I prayed that I would know what to do.
I started rocking myself a little... Unsure of whether to get up or stay sitting. Without thinking, I reached out and stroked her head... "Be still" I whispered. She relaxed.
And I smiled. "Be still and know that I am God. " Psalm 46:10. And then I chuckled. Be still and know that I am MOM.
While she wasn't without fitful moments that night, she only fell out of bed twice. Not bad considering how fitful she can be.
Ava is much more peaceful during her naps. Maybe it's our, I mean, Todd's snoring that disturbs her in the night.
When we were in China, I had my first moment of "I am an adult." I've never felt like an adult...just a kid playing dress up. But I felt it, finally. On Mother's Day, it finally dawned on me that I have THREE children. I am supposed to keep three little people alive and help mold them into responsible citizens of the world. How did that happen? I just became an adult a few days ago?!?
And then Ava hands me a booger and Jacob asks to "go ride boat, peas."
Be still my heart.
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