GUZ now, PDF later

Even with all the snowy weather causing delays across the country, the Visa center in New Hampshire received our immigration approval for Ava and has issued our GUZ number.

The number is more or less our case number for the US consulate in Guangzhou. Now, we wait for a PDF file of the letter New Hampshire sends to Guangzhou so we can wait for some other paperwork to be completed.

Come on PDF! Mama needs a TA and a CA!

UPDATE!!

The PDF arrived this morning. 

Approximate Gotcha date is April 13, which means our sweetie will be home before her birthday in May. 

Pan's Labyrinth

I am (will be?) the mama of Ava Pan-Yi Speary. Pan Yi is Ava's Chinese first and middle name. It is pronounced "Pahn" unlike the pan you would cook with. After some googling and translating, it appears the Chinese characters translate to "Hope According to" or "Hope Depends on." This name was given to Ava by the orphanage.

I wonder if her birth mother named her and what her name was before she became Pan. I wonder if her birth mother is alive and if she wonders about her daughter. There are so many questions surrounding Pan's early days, and there so many answers that we may never have. It hurts my heart that Ava Pan-Yi may never find these answers.

There is so little we know of little baby Pan. Even her birthdate is an estimate. 

Let that sink in.

We are lucky. She has lived in an orphanage that is part of the Half the Sky program in China. Half the Sky trains the nannies, supplies toys, and encourages love and care and education for the children. The orphanage regularly takes pictures of the children. We will receive a book from them with photos of her life. I'm praying for newborn photos of Pan. 

One of our jobs as Ava Pan-Yi's parents will be to allow her to grieve and navigate the maze of feelings regarding her life. She has lost her birth family, her first name, and her birthday. She will soon lose the only home she has ever known, her care takers, and her friends. While she will be gaining a new life, it would be wrong not to acknowledge her losses, her feelings. I will show her that she is not alone in her grief. I will cry with her when she is sad. I will rage with her when she is angry. Because it is ok. It is ok to feel the injustices... to writhe around in them for a while. But then I will show her Hope. I will show her love. She doesn't have to carry the pain alone anymore. She is part of a family, a team. It's not her against the world. It is US against the world. 

Many of our family and friends (you) have asked about celebrating Ava when she comes home. While we appreciate your excitement and desire to love our Ava, we are planning to cocoon our little girl. That means we will stay in our home with her for several months with minimal interaction with the outside world. She does not know what having a family means. We must teach her. We will be playing bonding games, forming attachments, and earning her trust. We will be adjusting to new routines and the new normal of a family of five. When she is ready, we will take baby steps into the world. She will go to the park. She will help me buy groceries or drop the boys off at school. Then, maybe Jacob, Ava, and I will play in the nursery at church. We will visit with grandparents and family.

If you want to help, start by praying for us. Pray that Todd and I will have patience and wisdom. Pray that the boys will be accepting and kind. And pray that Ava will open her heart to us. 

盼依

Thankful

Wow, I am so thankful to have an update on our little Ava. Not only did we receive some new photos, but we were also given her measurements and other tidbits of information about her.

Even with email and the internet making updates relatively easy for us, some families do not receive any updates of their child. In some cases, the information they have is several years old!

I am thankful for the bits and pieces I know of Ava and her past.

^an older photo from 2013?

I am thankful she has warm clothes and food to eat.

^Ava chowing down on a hardboiled egg.

I am thankful that her nannies show her affection and teach her.

^Ava reading a book with one of her ayis.

I am thankful that hugs give her comfort and that while she has a small appetite she enjoys eating snacks. (That sounds a lot like two little boys I know).

Emotional basket case, party of one

Yesterday, I snipped at Todd because of the way he adjusted the settings on the radio in our van. He asked me if it really made a difference. 

Yes, I told him. It makes a difference because I'm FREAKING OUT that our approval still has not reached our agency office. I can't control anything about this process, and all I can control IS THE RADIO. 

Then my phone rang. Literally. It rang right then. It was our agency rep. Our approval arrived at their office.

I told Todd he could do whatever he wanted with the radio. He asked if it was worth all the worry? And I said, "The worry made it happen." And he gave me "the look" and I laughed sheepishly.

Yesterday, we also participated in a conference call with five other families and our agency's China program director to discuss travel.

We ended the call with a few questions to mull over. The most important being which airport do we fly out of and which city do we fly to? Since we cannot fly directly to Ava's city of Changsha, we need to decide if we want to fly to Beijing, Shanghai, or Guangzhou. 

Beijing offers many wonderful sight-seeing opportunities; however, that means we need to leave 3 days sooner which means we would be away from our boys three days longer. It is also the most economical option.

A good friend who may be travelling at the exact same time as us will be flying to Shanghai where her daughter lives. So if we flew there, we could even be on the same flight!

And then there is Guangzhou. Guangzhou is one of the most (if not THE most) cosmopolitan city in China. It is also the same city where every American adoptive family ends their trip. The United States consulate in Guangzhou processes the visas for children adopted to Americans. Guangzhou is also the most expensive flight option... but it may be the most fun.

Across the Pearl River from Guangzhou is Shamian Island. It is a colonial oasis perfect for walks and respite from the hustle and bustle of the big city. I canNOT wait to go there.

As I mentioned before, our Ava lives in Changsha. Changsha is the capital of the Hunan province which is known for its spicy foods. We look forward to learning as much as we can about Ava's city and its rich history. Recorded history of this area dates back 3,000 years! Also, it is a very large city. Changsha's urban area has over 3 million inhabitants. The greater municipality has over 7 million residents.