I Love Spots

That's right people. I love spots.

I love big ones and small ones. I love smooth spots and hairy spots. I also love light spots and dark spots.

Why do I love spots, you ask? Because my daughter has spots. Lots of spots. But you know what? I have some spots, and I bet you do, too.

Our daughter (fingers and toes crossed at the word "daughter") has a giant congenital melanocytic nevus with multiple satellite nevi. Congenital means that it was present at birth. Melanocytic means that it is pigment based. Nevus means mole or birthmark. These birthmarks are known as CMN.

People with CMN have a slightly higher than average risk of developing melanoma in their lifetime. People with CMN can also have melanocytes (nevus cells) in their brain and/or spinal cords. The melanocytes can cause potentially life threatening conditions such as hydrocephalus and seizures.

The other challenges people with CMN face are not medical but social. Remember, nevus owners were born with their spots. Some of these spots cannot be removed due to location or size. While it may be surprising to see someone with a very large birthmark (they are rare, so most of us will not ever see one) do remember not to stare, point, laugh, or make rude remarks. People with birthmarks have feelings (and sometimes they have brothers named Adam and Jacob who are very protective of their little sisters). However, you CAN ask respectful questions.

For more information on CMN or to support research of CMN, you can find lots of helpful information through the Nevus Outreach website.

Great blog posts by parents of children with CMN:

• http://www.nohandsbutours.com/2010/01/19/a-special-need-defined-giant-congenital-nevus/
• http://asiawaitingchild.wordpress.com/2014/01/16/all-i-need-a-family-with-three-nevis-owners/
• http://www.nohandsbutours.com/2013/11/20/special-need-highlight-focus-on-congenital-nevus/

- See more at: Nevus.org

Approved and Waiting

Huge milestone today!

We received our I797 approval letter. Now if we can get our dossier completed, we can send it off for approval! Well, technically, it needs to be state sealed, then sent to the state department, then to the consulate, then to be translated. Then it can be logged in the system in order for us to receive official approval (LOA) for our daughter. 

After 5 weeks of waiting, we finally received Todd's birth certificate in the mail so that we could ship it back for a state seal. Hasn't anyone gotten the memo that I am impatient?

It is hard to believe that we started this journey in March...six long months ago. But, on the other hand, our precious little girl has been without a family for two years and four months. I am hopeful that she will be in our arms within six more months. 

Her third birthday is in May. She must be home for her birthday!

I can't wait to see her in this:

Dolls and Dresses

Is it possible to spoil a child before they are technically "yours"? Because I sure am trying.

Our sweet girl already has a few dolls, a few dresses, and a mama that can't stop looking at bedroom decorations.

We are currently waiting for PA (pre approval) from China to adopt our sweet one. Meanwhile, we are completing paperwork for our new agency and gathering documents for our dossier.

I am hoping we can be "paper ready" in the next month. That means that all of our paperwork is ready and submitted to China. Once our dossier is logged in, then all we have to do is wait for travel approval. This is so exciting!

Ok, so I lied...

I lied... well, maybe I over exaggerated when I said that adoption is hard.

I take it back.

Adoption is expensive, time consuming, and invasive. At times, it can be extremely frustrating and heart wrenching and overwhelming. But it isn't hard.

Hard is our four month old niece diagnosed with a large cyst on her brain. Hard is watching her parents come to terms with the unknown. We pray for Rayna.

Hard is a local twenty-one month old boy with juvenile myelomonocytic leukemia. We pray for Lachlan.

Adoption is a lot of things...some not so good and some amazingly awesome. But it isn't hard.

I killed a tree...

If you're looking for me, I'm over here under the pile of contracts, reference letters, and medical forms.

Adoption is hard.

No, really. It is HARD. And time consuming. And expensive.

I seriously wonder how anyone sane could possibly complete this process. And does that mean we are crazy or that we aren't ever going to reach our goal?

In the beginning, I spent close to a month putting together the initial international adoption application for the adoption agency. A MONTH! It included copies of birth certificates, medical forms, marriage licenses reference letters, background checks, and maybe a kidney. So fast forward a few months, and we completed yet another application for the Waiting Child program for Chi*na with letters and forms and documents and a liver. So fast forward a few months, and we are changing agencies so we can bring our girl home. Guess what! There is a new application with reference letters, birth certificates, marriage licenses, divorce decrees, back ground checks, and my sanity on a platter.

Oh, and have I told you about the dossier? Lord have mercy, the dossier. It sounds harmless enough... birth certificates, back ground checks, reference letters, marriage licenses, medical forms, and my stress ravaged body in the fetal position crying for my mama. Not only do we need these official forms and/or notarized letters, but they also have to be state sealed to prove the notary is legit. THEN they have to be checked by the Secretary of State or the consulate (somebody else officially official) to put their stamp of approval on the state seal.

By the time this is all over, I will have used approximately 10 billion sheets of paper.

Sorry Lorax.

Love and Faith

"Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart." Proverbs 3:3

On August 28, 2014, I saw her beautiful face for the first time.
On September 8, 2014, we received the good news that we are matched for adoption.

We are MATCHED!!!!!!!! 

I have seen so many sweet faces of waiting children and I have thought, "oh, I wish they were with our agency," or "I wish that child's file was transferable."

But then I saw a face that I could not walk away from. I saw a face that spoke directly to my heart and I knew that I would do whatever it took to bring her home.

So we are switching agencies for our daughter.

And, not only is she beyond beautiful, but she has been LOVED! Real love. She has a strong bond with her nanny, and a stranger (all the way in America) sent her a birthday cake for her second birthday and a beautiful dress. 

It's hard not to cry as I type these words... every day since we began this journey, Todd and I have prayed with our boys that their sister is being well taken care of and knows that someone loves her. SO many love her!! 

Dear God, please watch over our daughter. Keep her safe, healthy, and allow her to attach us without fear. We have faith that you will help us on this difficult journey. We are not alone. And she will never be alone again. Amen.