Day 9

We had a lot of fun exploring Shamian Island, buying souvenirs and eating lunch at Lucy's. 

The bow lasted for about 20 seconds. 

She's going to fit right in with our boys. 

Two dresses for Ava, shoes, paintings, a pearl necklace, and a jade necklace. 

Dinner! Todd said when he went to get dinner, an older man stopped him and asked, "Lady massage?" I guess the trade show is attracting the local prostitutes. 

Day 8

Day 8 was a very good day. 

There is one other family here from our agency, and we both took our girls for their medical exam. 

The United States requires a brief medical exam and for children over age 2, a blood draw for a tuberculosis test. 

The exam was different from what we expected. There were many other American families there. Older children were laughing and playing with their new parents. The younger children sat wide eyed or cried. 

Several other parents made the comment, "all the children are pretty, but your girl is beautiful." She really is.. Both inside and out. We had told our guide when we arrived that Ava is very smart, but after spending a few minutes with her, he remarked, "wow, she is really smart." Yeah, we know and that scares us a little bit.

Ava would cry as she met the doctors, but after they examined her, she flashed her big smile, waved and said "bye bye" in English and blew kisses. They LOVED her. We are so in trouble when she is a teenager. 

The quote of the day comes from Todd. He ran out to grab a quick lunch to bring back to the hotel room. He returned with some McDonalds. He took a big bite of his burger and remarked: "this tastes like real beef. Who knew you had to come to China to get a decent Big Mac."

We spent a lot of time laughing about how stupid we are. Mandarin is apparently impossible for us. There are four tones that effect how you say a word. Changing the tone changes the word completely. For example, we told the other family Ava's Chinese name, Pan Yi. Our guide quickly said, "I must correct your pronunciation." 

When we returned to the hotel room, Todd spoke Pan Yi into Google translate. At first, it came back as "translation" and the second time he tried, it said "afraid of you". So all this time we thought we were lovingly saying her name, but we were either calling her Translation or saying we were afraid of her. No wonder she was traumatized that first day. I wish our guide in Changsha had said something! Oh how we laughed at ourselves. 

After Ava's nap, we walked to the supermarket to buy a few snacks and more of Ava's milk. It was very busy and confusing, but Ava enjoyed pointing out her favorite foods. She seemed quite familiar with the candy aisle. 

After a yummy dinner of flavored rice and "chicken wings" (the closest comparison I can think of is our hot wings, but these were in a mildly sweet, citrusy sauce), Ava played and danced and laughed. I decided it was time for another bath. 

Our little stinker protested up until she sat in the water, then she flashed her grin and then splashed for twenty minutes. 

At the medical office. 

Part of our hotel: the pool and waterfall

Bath time!

Tater chip

Day 7

Day 7 was a travel day, so not much to report. 

Our guide did take us out for "French style" food. We had pork with green peppers (HOT but very good), pickled fish (a whole fish covered in some sort of pickled vegetables.. Also HOT but very good). There were also vinegar potatoes. The potatoes were shredded in strips like noodles. They were in a vinegary sauce much like German potato salad...yum yum. 

After a nap, we were taken to the train station. No one there spoke English and there were very few English signs. Our train was delayed which was a little worrisome. 

Once on the platform, Todd went to take pictures and I had a minor panic attack as several hundred people filled the platform around us and I didn't know what to do. I will never complain about someone not knowing English back in the U.S. again. It is so scary and isolating when you can't communicate. 

The train ride went well.. Ava did great. I was very tired so everything made me laugh hysterically. We wondered how we would keep Ava entertained for the three hour trip... She kept us entertained by pooping every twenty minutes. :)

Our guide here in Guangzhou is very experienced and whisked us off to a waiting van. People here drive so much better than in Changsha. Changsha is a free-for-all. They apparently have traffic laws here in Guangzhou. 

The city is huge and beautiful. I think the guide said there are 10 million residents. 

I think the good luck character at The Academy must have worked, we were given an Executive Suite. It's pretty awesome. 

Oh, and we have air conditioning!! Praise Jesus!

Ava was changing her baby's diaper. 

The train platform. 

The view from our suite. 

Day 6

Day 6 was our worst and best day. 

Since Todd was feeling unwell, Ava and I met our guide to visit the Academy.. It is now a part of the University but it is a school from over 1,000 years ago. But you may want to ask Mr Google for all the details. 

At the entrance were the Chinese characters for good luck and either Prosperity or Longevity. Jet lag stole that part of my memory. We touched the characters so that they would "rub off" on us. 

Ava pranced around and had lots of fun until she tripped and busted her lip. This began a chain of emotional reactions. Again, language has been our biggest obstacle. 

She was quite upset for the rest of the morning, but awoke from her nap happier. She is also a big fan of children's Tylenol. 

Todd was feeling much better at that point as well, so we played and laughed and bonded. Something must have clicked because we were able to give her a quick bath and she slept without her shoes on! We ended the day with a quick video chat with Grammy and Pappy Speary. 

Day 5

What a day... An emotional day. 

During the night, Ava slept fitfully and squirmed and rocked most of the night. She awoke a little standoffish, but quickly cheered up at breakfast. Her favorite food seems to be hard boiled eggs (minus the yolk). She ate three eggs and a yogurt and became our chatty, smiley girl again. 

Side note: the yogurt here is amazingly good. It is very smooth and more runny than back home. It is lightly sweet and lacks the "sour" flavor of American yogurt. 

After breakfast, Todd left to visit Ava's orphanage and Ava and I played in our room. The decision to not take Ava for this visit was an extremely difficult decision to make. On one hand, she could say one last goodbye to her friends and caregivers. On the other, it could cause Ava a lot of heart break in leaving her orphanage family behind for a second time. 

I don't know if we made the right decision, and I may never know. I do feel sad that I was unable to visit and hug the women who have loved Ava for the past three years. I will think of them and will pray for them for the rest of my life.

Todd described the visit as overwhelming and very emotional...but not in a bad way. Ava was dearly loved by her nannies and the orphanage director. In fact, she loved her bath time there...so maybe we saw less fear and more deep grief last night. 

As for her shoes, the children are not required to wear shoes but the nanny told Todd that these are her favorite shoes.  Again, there may be grief involved with removing her shoes. When we take them off to change clothes, I hand them to her so she knows we are not taking them away. 

She opened up to me today... Letting me hold her and giving me spontaneous hugs and smiles. She also showed me her naughty side. I had to break out my Chinese to scold her for hitting. 

At dinner, I learned Ava is an incredibly smart girl who plays us like a violin. Our guide had her scarfing down broccoli and noodles. It is hard to know when to insist Ava do something and when to let things go. The language barrier makes this much more difficult. Ava has a large vocabulary but in Chinese. 

I do not know how anyone could make it through this process without a lot of prayer, love, and support. I can feel everyone's strength holding me up. 

China, at least Changsha, is very different from what I expected. The city is very large like New York City. And while the people hustle and bustle and cut in front of each other, no one gets angry. We do get stares, but we have yet to see any other Caucasian people with a Chinese baby. So that's understandable. 

The people here are very conscious of their resources and are careful not to be wasteful. The signs in the hotel room encourage conservation. There are also people working non stop to keep the city beautiful. You do not see litter and the park's plants were carefully groomed. It is obvious the people here have pride in their work. 

Below is Ava's favorite nanny:

Ava's bed

A playroom

Out for a walk

Dinner: bacon noodles, broccoli, spicy tofu, and pork pies. All was very very good. 

Todd has been hit with tummy troubles. He informed me that dinner was not nearly as good on the way back up. Yikes. 

Day 4

Today started off with a bang. Ava rocks herself in her sleep, and she rocked herself right off the bed. She never woke up even as we carefully picked her up and put her back. 

Todd and I aren't sure if the rocking is to self comfort or if she is having nightmares. When Todd touches her, she relaxes. 

Ava, (we are calling her Pan Yi), enjoyed breakfast very much. She smiled constantly at her daddy and excitedly watched a young boy. She also kept the other patrons entertained by shouting "mama!" at Todd. 

We soon met our guide for a trip to the park. Sylia is a college student studying English. When she graduates, she wants to become a tour guide for Chinese people who travel abroad. 

The park is HUGE. We compare it to Central Park, maybe? At the entrance, retirees were taking their morning exercises: dancing, tai chi, and a sword "dance" similar to tai chi. On tables, groups played cards and mah jong. 

We stopped at a pond to feed the fish. Ava loved it, and we attracted a lot of attention. A woman with a young girl sat next to us and spoke to Ava. Ava looked at her with a bit of confusion, but happily accepted a bag of treats. So Ava continued feeding the fish and herself as people milled around us. 

We continued through the park.. Beautiful flowers, bridges, and buildings. They have an amusement park with a roller coaster, Ferris wheel and other rides and games. 

Ava laughed as I skipped around and walked backwards. She daintily alighted from the stone walkway to the grass to the dirt and would look to us for approval. Our guide said she thinks the children in the orphanage only go outside a few times a year. 

After the park, we visited an embroidery shop for a couple of items to frame for our house. 

Next, we went to a shopping mall (very western!) we passed an Apple Store and Samsung (Samsung is very popular here). We stopped at Pizza Hut and enjoyed cold glasses of peach tea with chunks of real peaches! It was delicious! As we waited for our food it became clear that Ava was exhausted. Our guide had our order packed up and guided us back to the hotel. 

After a quick lunch and a nap, we got back to bonding. We saw our first tantrum: she REALLY doesn't like taking off her shoes. We aren't going to fight that battle since she has not had control of anything else, she can control her shoes. She is sleeping in them now. 

We hung out in our room and played. She started opening up to me.. Giving me her big grin and even some hugs and kisses. 

We decided to give her a bath and all was well until we started to fill the tub with water. Ava went into full blown panic mode. Luckily, our training kicked in and recognized that she had retreated inside herself. There just aren't words for how heart breaking it is to see a child that scared. After about an hour of attempting to comfort her, she lay on the floor gazing  into nothing, I started to brush her hair. 

Slowly, her spark came back. She smiled again. She knocked over her stacking cups and giggled. The best part was after changing her diaper, she grabbed a doll and pretended to change the doll's diaper. She looked to me with a nervous grin and I cheered for her excellent mama skills. 

Day 3

This was it. After 13 months of interviews, training, reading books, background checks and paperwork, we were finally meeting our little girl. 

Maybe that's why we were awake at 3 am. 

We had planned to leave the hotel at 9, but our meeting was delayed so we headed to the civil affairs office at 9:30. Our guide was in contact with the orphanage director who was taking Ava for a passport photo. Ava was crying and very upset. The orphanage director advised us not to bring her back when we visited the orphanage. 

I was scared. Real scared. For the first time, I had many doubts. But when we heard Ava's cries from the rising elevator, I prepared to meet my daughter. 

Ava was absolutely terrified. The look in her eyes was of sheer terror. Her color was almost purple from screaming so hard. 

I rocked her, cradled her, and walked her around. Occasionally she would reach out to hit me with the lightest touch, but she would then recoil as if she expected me to hit her back. 

I hugged and kissed her as much as I could. Eventually her screams turned into silent sobs. I could feel her heart beating wildly even though she appeared almost calm. 

We left with her to begin our "24 hour harmonious period" which turned out to be only about four hours since our paperwork was processed so quickly. 

At the hotel, we gave Ava a snack and toys. She soon got an odd look on her face which could mean only one thing: poop. After changing her diaper, she hopped up, gave Todd a hug and a big cheesy grin. She has been daddy's girl ever since. 

When we returned to the Civil Affairs office to sign the paperwork and to pay our fees, Ava beamed and cuddled with her daddy. She would occasionally meet my eyes and scowl, but in the adoption attachment world, that was good. She was looking me in the eye. We can do this. 

We stopped by the supermarket on the drive home to pick snacks, drinks, and diapers. 

We were all completely exhausted at this point and were happy to return to the hotel for room service and rest.